


To the End of the World

by edgarallanrose



Series: Season 13 Codas and Ficlets [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 13x18, Angst, Canon Compliant, Coda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Episode: s13e18 Bring 'em Back Alive, In fact it's safe to assume John Winchester will never be positive in any of my fics, M/M, Not a John Winchester Positive Fic, Repression, damn dean back at it again with the self-loathing, like really so compliant this could be in the next episode, when will supernatural just hire me to write their scripts?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 13:52:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14310078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edgarallanrose/pseuds/edgarallanrose
Summary: Cas never knew what to do when Dean got like this.“Dean,” Cas said softly, “we will find Gabriel. We will.”Dean kept his back to Cas and Sam.“We better.”With that, he stomped out of the room, kicking at the clutter he had pushed to the floor for good measure.Episode Coda for 13x17: Bring 'em Back Alive





	To the End of the World

**Author's Note:**

> Just a lil coda to start off your weekend <3 Title from the song "You and Me" by Dave Matthews Band.  
> Unbeta'd, spoilers.

Cas never knew what to do when Dean got like this. Many years ago, he would not have stood for such an outburst. He would have yelled back, grabbed Dean by the collar and pinned him to the wall, or even just flapped his wings to leave Dean alone with nobody but himself to blame.

He couldn’t do any of those things anymore; even given the option he wouldn’t. Sam stood there next to him, barely able to speak except for when Dean addressed him directly.

How was Cas supposed to handle this?

“Dean,” Cas said softly, “we will find Gabriel. We will.”

Dean kept his back to Cas and Sam.

“We better.”

With that, he stomped out of the room, kicking at the clutter he had pushed to the floor for good measure.

Sam let out a shaky breath and bent down to pick up the books and notes. Cas silently assisted him, moving around the library and fixing what damage he could.

“I can take care of the bodies,” Cas said, nodding his head towards the demons still left in the war room.

Sam nodded in response, not looking up from some torn pages fanned across the floor.

Cas hefted one the demons over his shoulder and made for the front door.

Once the demons were disposed of, Cas returned the library to help Sam, only to find him sitting slumped in a chair, head in his hands.

Cas sat down across from him.

“He’s not mad at us,” Sam said. “He’s mad at the situation. And himself.”

Cas wasn’t sure if Sam was speaking for Cas’ or his own benefit.

“I don’t know how to help him,” Cas admitted.

“You can’t. You just have to wait for it to blow over.”

“Are you okay, Sam?”

“Me?” Sam huffed out a humorless laugh. “Sure. It’s just, when he gets like that all I can see is Dad and suddenly I’m nine years old again and I just freeze. There’s nothing I can say to make it better. Dean knows it too. It’s why he gets mad then stays mad for a while.”

“I wish I could have had an opportunity to at least once have words with your father.”

Sam chuckled.

“That I’d like to see.”

“This _will_ turn out all right, Sam.”

Now Cas wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince.

\---

Dean didn’t come out of his room for the rest of the day. Cas and Sam had finished tidying up together before Sam waved goodnight, sleepily trudging down the hall toward his room.

Cas found Sam’s laptop plugged in at the back of the library and set it before him, not really sure what he was looking for. Gabriel was most likely lying low, but it couldn’t hurt to look for potential signs of his presence.

Some hours later Cas heard muffled footsteps around the corner and Dean appeared in the archway, hair ruffled and eyes red and swollen. He held two beers in his hands.

“Dean?”

“Can’t sleep. Went to the kitchen for beer and saw the light on in here. Thought it might’ve been Sam.”

“Just me, I’m afraid.”

Dean placed the beer in front of him anyway and took the chair next to him.

“I’m sorry for how I acted earlier.”

“Dean, you don’t have to—”

“No, Cas. I mean it. I’m sorry.”

They were quiet for a moment, the only sound in the room the dull clink of their bottles against the wooden table.

“What can I do to help?”

“Nothin’ except what we’ve been doing,” Dean said. “Unless you know something I don’t.”

“No, I mean, is there anything I can do for you?”

The way Dean looked at him then made Cas’ stomach flip. His stare was heated, but wary. His face was cast in the dim blue glow of the laptop and soft yellow light of the desk lamp. The effect made him look angular, dangerous, until you looked in his eyes and saw how tired he was.

“I don’t think so, Cas.”

“I would do anything, you know. For you. For your happiness.”

Cas, against his better judgement, admitted this out loud and was met only with the silence of the library. Dean shook his head and quickly swallowed the rest of his beer.

“You can’t say shit like that, man.”

“Why not?”

“You know damn well why.”

“No, I don’t,” Cas said, raising his voice. “Not if it’s how I feel.”

“Cas…” Dean said weakly. Cas slammed the lid of the laptop shut.

“It is not weak to ask for help. It is not weak to admit what you want, what you _need_ ,” Cas hissed. “But I can’t give you anything if you don’t ask, Dean.”

Dean chewed his lip and stared down his empty beer bottle. Cas sighed.

“Have it your way then.”

Cas pushed his chair back away from the table and got up to leave.

Dean grabbed a hold of his hand. There were tears in Dean’s eyes, but he still chewed on his trembling lips, probably scared that if he opened his mouth to speak he could not control what came out.

Cas pulled him up out of the chair and into an embrace. Dean clutched at Cas’ shoulders, chest heaving against him.

Cas still didn’t know what to say, but he was beginning to think that didn’t matter. Maybe this could be enough for Dean.

Cas just wanted to be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Bringin' back the angst as the season starts to wind down. This ep had me all over the place, y'all. But maybe one of these days I can actually write in these damn codas for Gabriel or *gasp* CHARLIE!! (I still don't forgive you, Bucklemming, but I will also take what I can get).
> 
> Come give me all ya good season 13 dean/cas headcanons (or just come be my friend) on [tumblr dot com](http://edgarallanrose.tumblr.com/).
> 
> If you'd like to share this fic on tumblr, you may do so [here](http://edgarallanrose.tumblr.com/post/172910240155/to-the-end-of-the-world-edgarallanrose).
> 
> ***I have officially set up a ko-fi! If you enjoy my fics, please consider buying me a coffee (link is below through my tumblr). I will be writing a short ficlet (500-800 words) for the first five people to donate!! The details are on [this post](http://edgarallanrose.tumblr.com/post/172426858335/buy-edgarallanrose-a-coffee) if you'd like to look into it or spread the word. By no means should you feel obligated to do so, I am very thankful to all of my readers <3 Thanks for stoppin' by!***


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